HopeLess

 "One of the things I love about books is being able to define and condense certain portions of a character's life into chapters. It's intriguing because you can't do this with real life. You can't just end a chapter, then skip the things you don't want to live through, only to open it up to a chapter that better suits your mood. Life can't be divided into chapters... only minutes. The events of your life are all crammed together one minute right after the other without any time lapses or blank pages or chapter breaks because no matter what happens life just keeps going and moving forward and words keep flowing and truths keep spewing whether you like it or not and life never lets you pause and just catch your fucking breath."

"Sometimes you have to choose between a bunch of wrong choices and no right ones. You just have to choose which wrong choice feels the least wrong."

"And while I could sit here and feel sorry for myself, wondering why all of this happened to me.. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to wish for a perfect life. The things that knock you down in life are tests, forcing you to make a choice between giving in and remaining on the ground or wiping the dirt off and standing up even taller than you did before you were knocked down a few more times before this life is through with me, but I can guarantee you I'll never stay on the ground."

This is the reason why I am hesitant to lend my books to others after I read them. I fold pages and highlight the texts that reverberate and resonate. I scribble my own thoughts that relate to lines and paragraphs I find striking.

These were lifted from the most recent novel I read this weekend. It is a novel by Colleen Hoover titled Hopeless. A young adult story of Sky and Holder that started as a typical high school young, mad, and sweet love (true, it will remind you of your first love) between the two that slowly unfolded into a saga of heavy past life of abuse and trauma.

In the end, love heals wounds, even the deepest ones. I believe in this.

Hope. Love. Healing.

A Sunday Blessing

 

Yayyyyyy!!! Thank You, Jesus for all my blood test results are amazingly normal. My liver and kidney enzymes, electrolytes, Hemoglobin A1C, Thyroid stimulating hormone, complete blood count, lipid panel, and  fasting glucose.

I shared the good new to my U- Girls G and Rhoda and included in the text message: That is why we should take care of our health holistically. For me, it is about balance of different sort of things like eating at U- Grill once in a while, have a bite of Patchi candy, daily 18:6 intermittent fasting, working out( indoor cycle, Pilates and Yoga), detachment from gadgets, read a real book, laugh with friends, mindful breathing, uninterrupted night sleep, crying to ease the emotional burden, praying even it is too heavy to say a plea, have a few Cheetos sticks and a tablespoon of strawberry ice cream when my sweet tooth needs satisfaction.

I am very pleased and grateful for this Sunday blessing.

Next- my uterine baby Fibby. It needs to be removed!!

Blessing. Health. Thankful.

Papang's Mug

 

When I went home to Philippines last November, I decluttered and organized the drawers and pantry of our house. Yes, I find calmness and satisfaction when I clean and move stuff in proper placement. I found this mug and immediately sent it to my koyas. They were all surprised and amazed this mug is still present and kept well. 

This is our Papang's beer mug. It is possibly older than I am, my siblings and I consider it an heirloom already. I carefully washed it, afraid I might break it. During my stay at home, I just stared at it and never dared to use it. Memories of my father drinking his iced- cold San Miguel Pale Pilsen using this mug came to mind. The happy, simple, laidback childhood life I had under the roof full of love, care, laughter and protection.

Hi Pang. Cheers!!!

Memories. Papang. Family.

Play Pretend

 

Let's play pretend and close our eyes

You hold me like an oath and my heart is full code.

We travel to a free fallin' world of hope and faith

Staring at each other's eyes full of affection.

Let's play pretend and close our eyes

You have unclipped wings to fly with me.

We walk fingers intertwined across our old town

Surprising everyone their jaws dropped.

Let's play pretend and close our eyes

I am letting go of the extreme fear and trauma.

Willing to embrace what lies ahead of us

And do what TS screams, I'll dive with head first.

Pretend. Unreal. Play.