Forgive Oneself

In today's homily, the priest talked about God's mercy and forgiveness. It is the second Sunday of Easter ,Pope John Paul declared it 22 years ago as Divine Mercy Sunday.

The priest shared meaningful insights and stories of divine  and human forgiveness and the trouble with most of us is the latter one. Then he talked about forgiveness of oneself which people according to him, find it the most difficult thing to do. This is where I am struggling. I feel like I committed the worst crime in the world, when I look at Putin and all that his soldiers continue to do to destroy Ukraine and its people, I still think I am worse than them. I suffer in deep misery and I conclude I deserve every minute of it as punishment for all that I did.  Then two days ago, written on my prayer book are the words "God does not punish you."

The priest added also, " When you laugh, God laughs. When you cry, God cries with you."  Jesus knows everything about what humans feel- sadness, anger, temptation, hunger, pain, hurt and rejection because He experienced all of these.

Going back to forgiveness, I think it is what I need so much to really heal from the trauma. My family has forgiven me, God I know remains to be slow in anger, rich in kindness, He is loving and forgiving. It is me that unduly hurts myself and I am cruel to my own. It is my plea and prayer to totally embrace all my flaws and forgive myself so I can start loving myself again.

Forgive. Yourself. Michelle.